Friday, February 20, 2009

Hug it out. \(-,-)/

FYI, I’ve never actually hugged it out.

It seems like an unreasonable solution to any genuine disagreement, but if one could heal with the power of a hug … it is probably me.

My mom has always told me I’m a really good hugger. Just like she tells me that I’m fantastic at giving back rubs. My brothers are vehement that it is simply a ploy by our mother to get me to perform the two activities more frequently, and this may be so. But it has worked.

Now, at age 25, I believe I’ve reached the peak of my hugging career. I’ve kept in pretty good shape, and my strength is contrasted by a hint of softness that comes with age.

You probably have tens of thousands more hugs to perform in your lifetime, so I’ve listed some things for below average huggers (you know who you are) to think about.

Tips from the pro:
- Confidence is key, avoid all hesitations.
- If you encounter a group, hug everyone. Do not be a selective hugger.
- Do not pet or pat unless you are doing a comforting hug.
- If it’s a man hug keep it brief, unless it’s a goodbye family man hug … then let it linger.
- Never clasp your hands together in back.
- If your hug counterpart is crying, wait for them to let go.
- Make sure you are properly clothed for a front hug, if you’re shirtless just go for the side squeeze.
- If you’re a woman, and trying to sex it up a little bit, go for the vertical arms hug or the around the neck hug. (Men avoid both of these)


Katie said...

I have to say, you do give a mighty fine hug. And, I've got an addition, no closed hand business. I don't understand why, when giving a full hug, you would close your hands.

CAN said...

It probably was a mistake to read this post in the library- laughing is pretty disruptive to people actually trying to study. A few weeks ago, I participated in an awkward non-hug when I ran into someone I knew (a guy)...hesitation on both ends left us standing uncomfortably close to each other as we carried out the conversation. So your point is quite well taken :)